In popular culture it is common to hear a male (and even a female in some cases) being called a dog because of their apparent disrespect and disregard for the principles of what a relationship stands for. This has become a standard in the communities and just about an official term when discussing relationships and the problems that are found therein.
What really is a dog and how does it refer to a Human?
When one thinks of a dog, the mind generally processes the concept of an animal being "man's best friend". This is usually the first thought. The second thought then heads towards the concept of a being that doesn't care for anyone or anything but him or herself. How is it that the nature of something can have such opposite connotations?
If the first connotation of a "dog" was utilized in relationships, this conversation wouldn't even be needed. Man's best friend seems like a wonderful depiction to characterize something as. This, however, isn't the case. We all know which definition of "dog" we are referring to when we hear it used to describe a Human.
What is a cat and how does it refer to a Human?
When a Human is called a cat, it is generally in a flattering sense. "That cat over there..." "These cats right here..." "Cats around here are strange.."
Also, a cat is also used in reference to female genitalia.
Whether these connotations are taken positively or negatively, the underlying conversation deals with the personalizing and humanizing of animals. We take the natures of animals and apply them to Human situations so much that we have become obsessed with making movies and cartoons where all types of animal and marine life are humanized with personalities and character traits of people.
This may be a ploy to foster a more cohesive relationship with nature or maybe something more sinister. The fact remains that there is a relationship between Humans and animals that needs to be acknowledged and addressed.
Especially within relationships...
If a Human portrays traits that brings to mind the nature of a dog (disagreeable) this should put in the other Human's mind the possibility that one or more outcomes within the relationship may not be to their liking...
Be careful of the types of animals we establish relationships...
To all my Cats, Dogs and other animals...
peace, light and love
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
What is The Relationship Renaissance?
Everything has an expiration date? Everything ages...
Some things age slower than others...Some things age differently than others...
Relationships are no different...
The problem that we have in our relationships is that in many cases, we don't prepare for the change...We don't prepare for the aging and when it happens, we react adversely to the energy that we put forth when we were first beginning the relationship.
So we fight, we fuss, we develop bitterness, we slander, we gossip, we do everything but what everything in Nature does which is adapt. We think that when we get tired of a situation because it isn't working in our favor, we should escape that situation and look for a new one. Kind of like buying a car and when the car doesn't perform for us like it did in the beginning, we scrap it and look for a new car.
What keeps relationships vibrant?
What keeps relationships growing, evolving and adapting?
What keeps relationships from having a premature expiration?
Renaissance...
If I inject newness into any situation, I will continue to be comfortable with my environment. If my environment gets stale, I will lose the desire to stay in that environment. If I am forced to stay, I will develop resentment to my environment. This is a natural process.
When we apply the Renaissance to a relationship, we find ourselves injecting newness into an environment that truly can progress with the proper maintenance and care. Some relationships are beyond the Renaissance but most are not. A healthy relationship enhanced by an occasional dosage of newness will stay healthy and will be able to run the full cycle of its Earth manifestation...
...to be continued...
Some things age slower than others...Some things age differently than others...
Relationships are no different...
The problem that we have in our relationships is that in many cases, we don't prepare for the change...We don't prepare for the aging and when it happens, we react adversely to the energy that we put forth when we were first beginning the relationship.
So we fight, we fuss, we develop bitterness, we slander, we gossip, we do everything but what everything in Nature does which is adapt. We think that when we get tired of a situation because it isn't working in our favor, we should escape that situation and look for a new one. Kind of like buying a car and when the car doesn't perform for us like it did in the beginning, we scrap it and look for a new car.
What keeps relationships vibrant?
What keeps relationships growing, evolving and adapting?
What keeps relationships from having a premature expiration?
Renaissance...
If I inject newness into any situation, I will continue to be comfortable with my environment. If my environment gets stale, I will lose the desire to stay in that environment. If I am forced to stay, I will develop resentment to my environment. This is a natural process.
When we apply the Renaissance to a relationship, we find ourselves injecting newness into an environment that truly can progress with the proper maintenance and care. Some relationships are beyond the Renaissance but most are not. A healthy relationship enhanced by an occasional dosage of newness will stay healthy and will be able to run the full cycle of its Earth manifestation...
...to be continued...
COMING SOON!!
THE RELATIONSHIP RENAISSANCE
BY DR. MARVIN A. ELLIS
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Fast Food Relationships
The dating game is like ordering a combo from a restaurant...
I want a tall, dark skin, pretty faced model type with "good hair"...
I want a muscular, fine, baller...
I want a woman who has it together but who also knows how to get down in the streets...
I want a man who is a thug but who loves his boo...
etc., etc., etc...
We have all the socially suggested characteristics that we want in a relationship and in many cases, we have a tendency to completely forget the true values that make relationships work when we are actually in the "field" looking for a partner.
We have become so obsessed with the physicality of relationships that we will allow ourselves to get into situations that are not only not in our best interest, but dangerous to us and our environment as well.
How many women do we know that are in abusive relationships?
How many men do we know that are miserable in their relationships?
This comes from the "fast food" mentality when it comes to relationships. If we searched for a partner based on criteria that holds up to the long run, we would have much more success in relationships. If we stopped letting soap operas, television and movie dramas, music and music videos, books, etc. tell us how we should love, who we should love and when and where we should love, we would do much better in our relationships as well.
The safe technique that has been propagated through religion is: Let God handle it...
Now we are putting the responsibility of finding a decent partner in the hands of our God too? When you think about it, that is pretty unfair. It absolves the participant of the responsibility of using their own processes to look for a decent partner and then if the relationship goes sour, they subconsciously can blame their Sustainer for their problems. Sad indeed...
Now, seeking blessings from your Creator is totally understandable, but placing God in the beginning process while you are out partying at the club or while you are grocery shopping or when your best friend "hooks" you up on that blind date is a stretch.
I've seen my share of couples getting married and expressing that they've found their soul mate to each other and they met in a bar...
I've seen my share of couples expressing God sent love for each other and the male or even the female physically assaults the other...
These are things that take a relationship from enjoyment to tolerance...
After a while, you don't enjoy fast food if you keep going to the same place, your body tolerates it especially if you don't have any other options. How many are tired of eating at the golden arches?
In our relationships (not all of them) we find ourselves tolerating each other because the principles that established the relationship in the beginning are fast food principles. In other words, we were looking for that good thing right then and there and when the good thing ran its course, subconsciously, we were done. Some of us didn't recognize it and now we are miserable in life Others did but instead of taking the noble route and diplomatically backing out we created unnecessary negative karma in the universe and had an ugly break up.
Final result in all cases...staleness, bitterness and apathy...
more to come...
I want a tall, dark skin, pretty faced model type with "good hair"...
I want a muscular, fine, baller...
I want a woman who has it together but who also knows how to get down in the streets...
I want a man who is a thug but who loves his boo...
etc., etc., etc...
We have all the socially suggested characteristics that we want in a relationship and in many cases, we have a tendency to completely forget the true values that make relationships work when we are actually in the "field" looking for a partner.
We have become so obsessed with the physicality of relationships that we will allow ourselves to get into situations that are not only not in our best interest, but dangerous to us and our environment as well.
How many women do we know that are in abusive relationships?
How many men do we know that are miserable in their relationships?
This comes from the "fast food" mentality when it comes to relationships. If we searched for a partner based on criteria that holds up to the long run, we would have much more success in relationships. If we stopped letting soap operas, television and movie dramas, music and music videos, books, etc. tell us how we should love, who we should love and when and where we should love, we would do much better in our relationships as well.
The safe technique that has been propagated through religion is: Let God handle it...
Now we are putting the responsibility of finding a decent partner in the hands of our God too? When you think about it, that is pretty unfair. It absolves the participant of the responsibility of using their own processes to look for a decent partner and then if the relationship goes sour, they subconsciously can blame their Sustainer for their problems. Sad indeed...
Now, seeking blessings from your Creator is totally understandable, but placing God in the beginning process while you are out partying at the club or while you are grocery shopping or when your best friend "hooks" you up on that blind date is a stretch.
I've seen my share of couples getting married and expressing that they've found their soul mate to each other and they met in a bar...
I've seen my share of couples expressing God sent love for each other and the male or even the female physically assaults the other...
These are things that take a relationship from enjoyment to tolerance...
After a while, you don't enjoy fast food if you keep going to the same place, your body tolerates it especially if you don't have any other options. How many are tired of eating at the golden arches?
In our relationships (not all of them) we find ourselves tolerating each other because the principles that established the relationship in the beginning are fast food principles. In other words, we were looking for that good thing right then and there and when the good thing ran its course, subconsciously, we were done. Some of us didn't recognize it and now we are miserable in life Others did but instead of taking the noble route and diplomatically backing out we created unnecessary negative karma in the universe and had an ugly break up.
Final result in all cases...staleness, bitterness and apathy...
more to come...
Friday, November 11, 2011
Injecting Life into Stale Bread
Grocery stores have a dirty little secret that they use when trying to sell produce and meat and other items. They will inject water or blood into things to make it look like it's new. Ewww.
That's not the issue here. The issue is injecting newness back into something so that it doesn't go stale.
Relationships...
If you think about the newness of a relationship you can kind of envision all the most positive things about a couple that is starting out on a new adventure in life together. After the union becomes familiar, then other aspects of each person's characteristics begin to show. That bad habit that was cute at first but now is a little bit annoying. The phone calls he or she still gets from people they knew before the relationship who aren't really considerate of the new relationship and just want their time with that person. The comments that are made by one or more of the participants that no longer are endearing but are now irritating. The list continues.
This isn't the case with ALL relationships, but because we live in a fast food society, we find that we are quick to reach points in our lives where we find ourselves TOLERATING each other instead of ENJOYING each other. Whenever you have to tolerate someone that generally means that you don't necessarily enjoy that person's company. If you go from enjoying your partner to tolerating your partner, you have to pause and take stock in the original reason you started the union in the first place.
This is what the Relationship Renaissance is about...
Again, ALL relationships aren't like this but those that ARE could do very well with what the Relationship Renaissance offers...
more to come...
That's not the issue here. The issue is injecting newness back into something so that it doesn't go stale.
Relationships...
If you think about the newness of a relationship you can kind of envision all the most positive things about a couple that is starting out on a new adventure in life together. After the union becomes familiar, then other aspects of each person's characteristics begin to show. That bad habit that was cute at first but now is a little bit annoying. The phone calls he or she still gets from people they knew before the relationship who aren't really considerate of the new relationship and just want their time with that person. The comments that are made by one or more of the participants that no longer are endearing but are now irritating. The list continues.
This isn't the case with ALL relationships, but because we live in a fast food society, we find that we are quick to reach points in our lives where we find ourselves TOLERATING each other instead of ENJOYING each other. Whenever you have to tolerate someone that generally means that you don't necessarily enjoy that person's company. If you go from enjoying your partner to tolerating your partner, you have to pause and take stock in the original reason you started the union in the first place.
This is what the Relationship Renaissance is about...
Again, ALL relationships aren't like this but those that ARE could do very well with what the Relationship Renaissance offers...
more to come...
New Book Coming Soon!
I have a new book that I will be releasing soon. The title is "The Relationship Renaissance" and it deals with simple techniques that couples and Humans who are in relationships can use to bring newness back into their situations.
I want to create a bit of a buzz so I created this blog to talk about it. I will post questions for readers that deal with some of the subject matter in the book.
Let's go!
I want to create a bit of a buzz so I created this blog to talk about it. I will post questions for readers that deal with some of the subject matter in the book.
Let's go!
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