Fast Food Relationships

The dating game is like ordering a combo from a restaurant...

I want a tall, dark skin, pretty faced model type with "good hair"...
I want a muscular, fine, baller...
I want a woman who has it together but who also knows how to get down in the streets...
I want a man who is a thug but who loves his boo...
etc., etc., etc...

We have all the socially suggested characteristics that we want in a relationship and in many cases, we have a tendency to completely forget the true values that make relationships work when we are actually in the "field" looking for a partner.

We have become so obsessed with the physicality of relationships that we will allow ourselves to get into situations that are not only not in our best interest, but dangerous to us and our environment as well.

How many women do we know that are in abusive relationships?

How many men do we know that are miserable in their relationships?

This comes from the "fast food" mentality when it comes to relationships.  If we searched for a partner based on criteria that holds up to the long run, we would have much more success in relationships.  If we stopped letting soap operas, television and movie dramas, music and music videos, books, etc. tell us how we should love, who we should love and when and where we should love, we would do much better in our relationships as well.

The safe technique that has been propagated through religion is: Let God handle it...

Now we are putting the responsibility of finding a decent partner in the hands of our God too?  When you think about it, that is pretty unfair.  It absolves the participant of the responsibility of using their own processes to look for a decent partner and then if the relationship goes sour, they subconsciously can blame their Sustainer for their problems.  Sad indeed...

Now, seeking blessings from your Creator is totally understandable, but placing God in the beginning process while you are out partying at the club or while you are grocery shopping or when your best friend "hooks" you up on that blind date is a stretch.

I've seen my share of couples getting married and expressing that they've found their soul mate to each other and they met in a bar...

I've seen my share of couples expressing God sent love for each other and the male or even the female physically assaults the other...

These are things that take a relationship from enjoyment to tolerance...

After a while, you don't enjoy fast food if you keep going to the same place, your body tolerates it especially if you don't have any other options.  How many are tired of eating at the golden arches?

In our relationships (not all of them) we find ourselves tolerating each other because the principles that established the relationship in the beginning are fast food principles.  In other words, we were looking for that good thing right then and there and when the good thing ran its course, subconsciously, we were done.  Some of us didn't recognize it and now we are miserable in life  Others did but instead of taking the noble route and diplomatically backing out we created unnecessary negative karma in the universe and had an ugly break up.

Final result in all cases...staleness, bitterness and apathy...

more to come...